The First Step of Change,A Short Metaphorical Break

Imagine yourself walking on a rainy evening. You have an umbrella in your hand, leaning it on your shoulder in a relaxed position. As you walk straight, either the rain is getting lighter, or you are getting closer to your destination. This external change prompts you to close your umbrella. Just a moment ago, your hand was comfortably holding the umbrella, but now, as you close it, you tighten your grip to make sure you don't drop it. This is how you close the umbrella. If your relaxed hand didn't hold the umbrella firmly, you wouldn't have been able to close it.

The changes we make in ourselves are like closing the umbrella. If we don't hold ourselves tightly, we can't achieve the transformation we desire. Sometimes a new year arrives, we enter a different environment, or we simply get tired of ourselves. During such times when we want to change, if we don't have enough information about what and how we should change, we might feel uncertain about the process. According to motivation psychology, this indecision about change (often caused by a desire to avoid any discomfort that may arise during the change) is called ambivalence. Sometimes, we become so content with our umbrella walk that we think, "I can keep it open; it's fine." Perhaps I'll take another stroll before entering my destination. Maybe the rain will start again, and I can continue. In practical life, when faced with personal change, the feeling of "I don't want my comfort disrupted because I like it this way" or "I've already gotten used to my previous self, and if I'm going to do something, I might as well take another tour first" can lead to hesitation during the change process.

Those of us who avoid discomfort can sometimes prefer to ignore the situation that causes discomfort in order to continue as is. However, it's not always entirely up to us. The situation can become critical. The egg delivery person you ordered will enter your apartment within the next 5 minutes. If you've arrived home, you can't take another stroll with the umbrella because you need to greet the egg delivery person. You need to close the umbrella. In that moment when you decide to change, whether or not your comfort is disrupted, you need to hold the umbrella tightly. In other words, you need to hold onto yourself. You need to know and understand yourself, and realize that you don't need to change just like everyone else. When entering a new year or starting your life in a different environment, when the events around you change and force you to change, you don't have to change just like everyone else. After all, not everyone closes the umbrella in the same way. In fact, not everyone's umbrella is the same.

So, the first step in your change is to know yourself as you are now. Hold onto yourself tightly. Because all the answers about you are within you. No matter how much the external things change, you have an inner world, intellect, and logic of your own. It will be as you want it to be. You can even say, "Let the egg delivery person wait at the door; I'll take another stroll with my umbrella." You may choose not to change. That's also your unique decision. But if you decide otherwise, you know what to do.

Moral of the story

The first step in your change is to know your present self. Hold on tightly. Because the answer to everything about you is within you.