People Who Personalize Failure and Feel Devastated

Currently, you are both a researcher, a teacher, and a statistician.

When scientists conducting experiments have a hypothesis in hand and the results turn out to be non-significant in statistical terms, they don't say, "Oh darn, I'm worthless and a failure."

They accept the reality in front of them and seek another method without saying "Darn, I'm worthless and a failure." While forming or breaking habits, shaping our lives, or working on something in general, we need to approach it with this attitude. In counseling assignments or when trying to establish a habit on your own or when striving for something in general, we can't be perfect on the first try... If it were that way, nobody would have an advantage, and we wouldn't have the chance to learn about ourselves.

As a sample experiment: Imagine a man who wants to change his habit of going out and eating sweets because he's gained weight. He tried going for a walk, trying new places instead of eating, and failed. Then he realized that when he goes out, he's actually talking to people, which pushes him to go out and use sweets as an excuse. Recognizing that he couldn't cope with loneliness, it not only helped him change his habit but also helped him become aware of himself.

As researchers, we should interpret the results we have and, through learning, try different ways of experimenting. In our daily lives, we often judge ourselves when we fail at something we've tried.

We should free ourselves from the experiment.

We should liberate ourselves from the experiment.

Similarly, by giving up judging others and asking for support from our environment, we can seek help from those around us. If everyone treated others the way they treat themselves, if they tried something once, gave up on that person, expected perfection, and judged them, what would happen?